Life in Limbo

So keeping busy has been a challenge for me; all this time off work and nothing to do but sit around watching Netflix. I am still in limbo and I'm beginning to hate the place. 

I saw the neurologist on Tuesday. She is a very nice doctor who is originally from Kansas City - which gave us something to talk about other than my messed up head. She, however wanted me to go and see a specialist, so I did. I went and saw a balance specialist to make ensure that all of my vestibular parts are in working order. Much to her surprise/chagrin,(also a very nice lady doctor), she could not recreate my symptoms and was therefore unsure of what I had and what had caused it. So she'll send a report back to the neurologist. Unfortunately that was last Wednesday and I have had to wait until this Wednesday (two days from now) to see the neurologist again - goodbye paid vacation time. 

So I've waited. I have thoroughly cleaned the apartment in which I'm still residing by the good graces of my landlord - who I do not think is really happy with me staying here solo because I do not want to pay the whole $800 rent, just the normal $400 split - although I get where he is coming from. 

I also went today and paid the June rent ($300) on the apartment that I was going to move into - signed the lease on - but am now unsure/unable to do so because of this sidebar. I have hopefully found a replacement for myself on the lease though - again, waiting until Wednesday to see if she's approved by the complex and then she'll pay me back for part of the June rent. I'm going to need it and my deposit from this place to make it wherever I have to go depending on the outcome of these next two doctors visits.  All in all today was a financially draining day, which also tends to drain me mentally. 

I am very very tired of being in this forced limbo that is costing me every second I stay in it. I just wish I could have gone back to see the neurologist sooner - that extra week of waiting cost me all of my vacation time because work has to pay it out when I'm on leave like this - a leave I don't want to even be on. It is very frustrating not knowing which way I'll be able to go but knowing all the different paths that I could be forced to wander down. *sigh* 

I guess I'm done for now - no point in repeating to myself the same situations that could or could not happen - I've already memorized them. I just want to know, you know?