Like Quicksand....

so i am struggling. it seems like the more i try to organize things to get things together, the more i fall apart. i feel like i finally understand what my dad and brothers say about letting others do things and not micro managing everything. i find it extremely difficult to relinquish control to others when what they are doing has the potential to reflect back poorly on myself. i sometimes, okay frequently, wish there was more time in the day or more of me so i could do everything. i am so frustrated that i constantly settle for letting myself slack off when i demand so much of myself. i hate myself sometimes. like why did i have to sleep this morning instead of just toughing it out and going to school and the doctor. well, back to work for me.