Lonesome

(Going Purple in honor of the sweater I wore today!)

Anyway, today was a fairly good day. It was raining and we had to take Michael's car to church today - I went over a bump in the road too fast and the weight in the back of the car caused the new suspension to break :( The Harrison Park Ward had a new bishop called, Bishop Aaron Harris! (I knew it would be him!) Sunday School was really good- Nate taught about the book of Hebrews. I learned a lot and so admire his knowledge of the scriptures. Relief Society was good - my teacher cancelled on me this morning via text message :( so I ended up winging the lesson; thankfully the sisters were very good with their comments today! The linger longer went well, good amount of people & food. The missionary fireside was tonight and it went well. Almost everyone had an opportunity to ask a question, give an answer, or share an experience. The Elders also gave a very good mini lesson on Spiritual v. Social Conversion and our roles in each.
However, as most things go- I started having a bunch of feelings and ended up kind of withdrawing emotionally from the whole scene. I hate that it reads on my face so easily that my mind is burdened with something. It is rather difficult to hide though, that feeling of wanting to burst into tears. It all comes down to this though: I am longing for a man of my own. Someone who understands my moods, knows when I need a hug and is there for me to hug whenever, someone who I can always count on to make me smile. I just was feeling really lonesome today and I could not shake it. I desperately wanted a hug, but not from a sister. They are always willing to dole out the compliments & hugs. Why can't a guy? Why won't a guy notice how great my hair looks or how sweet I am? I know it is not fair to expect these things, but I just really wished I could have gotten a hug tonight. I needed one, so bad! I still do. I honestly feel like I just need to collapse into someone's embrace and just cry. Nothing in particular is wrong, but I have these pent up emotions that need to be released. I hate bottling them up, but it is just want I have to do.
Sigh, so anyway - that's where things are right now. Me = lonely. Still. :(