My Rock Collection

I have had a rocky day... I thought it was going to be smooth after running late this morning, having to scrape my windows **i have an ice scraper**, mucking my way through a traffic accident **I have a car**, and barely finding parking at school **I found a spot**. Piece of cake from there right? I was on time to history, took good notes, felt fine about it. Went to Psychology, found out I'm doing alright, got a 4/5 on quiz 1 and a 5/5 quiz 2! Went to Institute on campus and we talked about the Plan of Salvation a little bit (Bishop was late!) **I have institute on campus** - very good insights on why the fall happened and how respected Eve should be. We ran over a tad because we wanted to keep discussing - but plenty of time to get over to my next class. Dropped my bag at my desk with 12 minutes to spare, grabbed my lunch sack and spilled the contents on the room floor- scooped them up and headed for the elevator **I have lunch**. Quickly made my oatmeal (DELICIOUS btw, I forgot how good it could be!) then went back to class. Ate while waiting for class to start. Watched a really good segment of "Boston Public" called Graduation Day which showed how it was all worthwhile being an educator. (That reminds me I need to e-mail in those notes!) Left class 15 minutes early instead of 10 because I knew I had parked further out **exercise!** and I knew we had switched pods today at work so I'd have to get my stuff. Walked briskly into work, bought a pop, signed up for OOH (which didn't happen) **more work = more pay** and found out where we were sitting. Headed to the new pod and dropped my stuff except my dinner bag which I took over to put in the north side refrigerator. Speed walked my way back to the south side to get my headset, pen, paper pad, and feature papers then back to the north side. **more exercise!** Clocked in a minute later **1 min is better than 2** and then rushed to the bathroom **indoor plumbing**. Came back and Jeanetta was an angel and popped my popcorn! Took one 13 minute phone call then went up to exec 1 for a team meeting where we saw our VOC scores and set goals on how to improve them and also set up our IDPs. **team time to work on goals and acknowledge standards and weaknesses** Went back and had a coaching - which actually was me just nesting with Jeanetta for 30 minutes **opportunity to listen to other's skills**. Back on the phones for 30 minutes then lunch **lowered my crt**. Ate at my desk my leftover vegetable lasagna and rolls while finishing off my pop. **food!!** Read Jacob 1-5 (most of 5) and wished I knew more about the significance of everything in the allegory of the olive tree.**I have scriptures whenever I want** Called mom because I thought she worked today (she didn't) and told her I had missed the Towne Hall Meeting today because it was earlier while I was at school, but that I did have a 3 hour long meeting tomorrow - kick off.**new info** Got a score today, just a 3 with a 4 in TR but a 2 in knowledge because I didn't verbalize my VA and did not recap **showed me my weakness**. Had several disappointed looks and words from Charles because I was taking flex pay calls and a couple I didn't know the answer to. **concern for my actions** Was told to go into coaching after my break was over. I wanted to shorten my break to lessen the effect on my CTS, but he said I had to take the full 20, so I sat in break for another 5 minutes **integrity** then sat at his desk. He was not happy at all. I was not happy at all. **growth opportunity** I struggle with consistently doing my VVA and recap. I don't do it willfully or maliciously or with malintent. I just don't do it sometimes. Why?! I don't know... and that is the problem, because if we cannot figure out the root of the issue, the issue will always be around!! After the coaching, which was not at all pleasant, a lot of sad awkward silence, mostly on my part while I pondered internally with much consternation as to why I am such a failure at this, I was set with Yvonne on Jos's team to listen to her VVA **grateful for good example** and then write back to Charles what I was going to do to change my actions. I believe I put my plan into action on every call that I took after that, for the last 1.5 hours of the day. I will do it again tomorrow and the next day until it becomes habitual. I hate feeling like such a failure. I apologized to Charles as I left for the day, but am still kicking myself. Get home and the dog has ripped up the trash again, so I spank her butt and clean it up. I lock myself in my room with her on the other side of the door and I hear her whining. (She hates being alone when I'm home.) I eventually leave because the laptop is running low on battery and I want to look up my tax return stuff. The tax return page is not working, keeps coming up blank. Check a couple other things, like how little my paycheck is going to be **I have a job!** and what bills I still owe (lots).**budget lesson** Wishing I had my tax return or my loan money in. Barely scraping by.**but still fine** Really poor attitude right now... Just really sad. Feel like lashing out and screaming, but then seeing the futility of it just want to ball up and cry. I need a hug, but there are no open arms. **Go back and take every negative and put in a "rock" of how it is a good thing**