Getting Our House in Order

Recently, I took a second job as an office manager for a company. It pays well and I can do the job easily. It was to be a temporary posistion unti I returned to school in the fall. However, upon recent reflection I have decided to keep with it until December and then return to school in the Spring when I will be able to afford it more easily, especially because I am paying for my school all on my own now. The really weird part is that this was not even my idea; it was my mother's. She mentioned it last night to me and then this morning to my dad. I called him this morning to see what he thought about it and he said he thought it was a good idea, because the money I could save from this job, because my first job pays my bills and basic needs, would allow me to be in a better posistion to pay for shool come spring. He tied it back to "Getting our houses in order" which of course is a commandment. I am grateful to my father for putting the gospel in my life today and always.

Missionaries

Missionaries have to my some of my favorite people in the whole world!
When I got home tonight a letter was waiting for me from Sister Nickelle Reid and I was so excited I shrieked! I then was too hopped up on happy even to write her back, so Ashley commandeered the laptop and wrote in a mini letter to her inside of mine! She's doing well and I am so glad that she is where she is! She leaves the MTC in a little over a week and then will be out doing the work! How super exciting! I wrote her a super long letter. I hope it wasn't too long!
The Elders in our branch right now are Amazing! Elder Hanson was pretty awesome, but he's since gone home and is now just Jay. In his place we got Elder Whitworth. He's a pretty nice guy from Provo, UT. Yeah, I know, I couldn't help but laugh either. LOL, when he said it in Sunday School the whole room just laughed; it was amazing! We love our U-tard Elders!! There was a different Elder with Elder Riley when they came over for dinner two Saturdays ago, Elder Nester. He also was from Provo, UT, but he had serious Utah pride and did not find Ashley and I's mocking to be very humorous. He even called us jerks :P It will be so much fun to see him again! I should probably make cookies and drop them by their apartment to show I bear no ill will towards the poor boy. Hands down, Elder Riley is my favorite though. I've always said that Heavenly Father makes men much hotter when their Elders. They're like forbidden fruit! LOL, if that doesn't already tell you what I think about him! Ha! I'm going to hades for this! Oh well, we're totally appropriate, just teasing and making him blush occasionally. It's super fun and I hope he gets to stay in our area for a very long time! Maybe until he goes home (in October I think?) Oh well.
Just thought I'd share my joy when thinking about Missionaries!!

Time & Temples

I don't sleep a lot lately. I have a pretty busy schedule which does not allow me much time for sleep. I wake up early - yes, I consider 7:30am early! I leave the house no later than 8:30am to be at work by 9am. I work from 9am-3pm and then drive over to T-Mobile and work there from 4pm-12am. I usually get home around 12:30am and get to sleep around 1am. So, not a lot of sleep. Now that is my Monday - Friday schedule. Saturdays vary, up until recently I would have to be up at 8am for 9am Mission Correlation Meetings at Josh's house. Now, since Josh is getting deployed again for a couple of months I don't know what I'll be doing on Saturday mornings unless there is some activity, so I may get to sleep. Not this Saturday though. This Saturday is En-Man-richment at the Lucas' property and we're carpooling at 9am, so I'll have to be up by 7:45am. We'll be at that all day long, but I hope to be able to go see Toy Story 3 that evening providing I can find someone to go with me. Sundays are always long days. Usually up by 9am or 9:30am to be at church by 11am for various meetings/ visiting teaching appointments. Church does not start until 1pm and goes through 4pm and then it is after church meetings/socializing, then over to the parents house (on most Sundays) to have dinner and hang out until around 11pm. Then we start M-F all over again!
I know that all things happen in the Lord's time, but often I want to look ahead and just be able to know when something is going to happen so that I don't have to sit around waiting for it without knowing that it will happen and when. Such as finding a special guy to be mine for time and eternity. It is something that is on my mind a little heavier than normal right now - no doubt due to Ashley's and Joe's weddings. I'm super excited for them, but man, loneliness is magnified when planning the nuptials of others! I feel as though I have been not as patient as I should be though. I've not lived the kind of life I should have - one of bridled passions and cool temperance. I have often let my heart go off on it's own without seeking the guidance of the Lord and it has always come back damaged, bruised, and discouraged. I have decided to give up hope on finding a non-member who will be good and help me be good. I do want a good man, someone who will strengthen my weaknesses and me his likewise. I thought I had found that good man in Jesse, but he is not ready to be there for someone like that. So he shall remain a friend. A friend is better than nothing - if only I did not feel for him.
I'm excited that I have my second job though. It will provide me with the funds needed to help pay for school this fall semester. I hope that I will be strong and buckle down - achieving great grades so that I can fix my GPA and earn back my financial aid for the next aid year or semester if they'll grant it. I will miss the extra income during the school year though. I am grateful that I have this job though. It provides me a marvelous opportunity to spend extra time studying and listening/reading talks. I am trying to become better at my gospel studies so that my faith may increase and my testimony will be strengthened.
I'm not sure I've shared, but I'm working on receiving my endowment! I'm super super super excited! Each of the last 3-4 times that I have had opportunity to go to the Temple for baptisms I can recall my longing and desire to have my endowment so that I may more fully participate in the ordinances therein and serve the Lord more fully. I'm excited to have the marvelous opportunity to receive my endowment before I am 25. It will be an extra blessing to have it prior to Joe and Sarah's wedding so that I may attend their sealing. I really do desire this endowment righteously. I do not want it merely to say that I have it. I want it so that I may be able to attend the Temple when I want rather than having to wait until either of the single's branches have a trip. I am so grateful for the Temples and for the vicarious work that is performed in them. I am so excited to learn more!

Rain Storms and Revelations

Today's lesson in Relief Society was "The Life of Christ." Sarah asked a question of what about Christ's life did we like or what about it influenced us. I shared that I desire to see others as Christ sees them, to look at them and see through all the worldly outer coverings, labels, and hang-ups and see them for who they truly are; children of God. To see their weaknesses, flaws, and fears and know how to succor them. To truly care for and love them the way He did. It is true, I often think how very different my perspective on life would be if I could see my brothers and sisters the way He did. Later on during sacrament, while the prayer was being said and the bread passed I had a thought that brought me nearly to tears. I was thinking about how I desired to see people that way and saying a little prayer that I might endeavor more faithfully to do so when I was struck with the thought of seeing myself through His eyes. I do not believe that I have ever desired to see myself through His eyes, not that I do not know that He sees me that way too, but I do not see myself that way. I do not look in the mirror and see myself with eyes that see the flaws and then sees past them to just love unconditionally the individual looking back. How am I to love others and ask to see others in the way I desire if I cannot see myself that way? I have much to work on within myself, but I know that with the love of Christ in my life I will be okay, and as a wise friend once told me, getting to be "okay" is hard work; I look forward to it.
In other news, my sweet puppy has been given away. I posted on Facebook about my situation needing to find her a home and a co-worker volunteered to take her. It was so hard and I broke down a couple of times. My brother Jacob was an excellent listener as I wept on the phone about how heartbroken I was right after my co-worker drove off with her. I found out just a day or two later that he is not able to keep her because his landlord accused her of being a dangerous breed. Thankfully he will not be giving her back because I could not take giving her away again. I have hang ups about it though because I will have no control over who she goes home to and I will not know if she will be cared for. Oh well, I trust that she will be loved and cared for.
After church today we went out to dinner with Uncle Walt. He is the exact same character he's always been.
I came home after dinner and was feeling slightly melancholy. I sat on the floor near the kitchen door and watched the lightning flash and the fireflies flick in and out of sight. It was very nice. It then started raining so I decided to go sit on the front porch. As I sat there getting rained on I just thought, but my mind did not come upon any solid thought, it just kind of drifted. I decided, after sitting there for a while and getting fairly wet on the front side of myself, to walk around the front part of the house to the side to go in through the garage so as not to traipse water all across the house. In short order I was completely soaked. I came inside and changed. Ashley came home and wanted to go puddle jumping. So here I go again.

count down

I have to give my puppy away soon. So not happy about it and have been putting it off. Sigh! It is going to be so hard and I know I'm not strong enough to do it myself. But who do I ask? Who should I lean on for that kind of emotional support?