In a pit that I dug..

So, because I have been slacking at school and not taking it seriously, therefore failing my classes here and there, I am being denied financial aid for the next school year. Also, if I do not return this semester and improve my overall GPA I will be dismissed from the University. So, now I have to figure out how I am going to manage to pay for books, a full time class load, and everything else I already pay for. After Ashley gets hitched I am more than likely going to have to live with my parents. That is of course, after I get rid of Nanders, which if I haven't found her a home by then then someone will have to take her to the Humane Society for me, because there is no way I could. That means I will need to be uber strict with my finances and I still need to find a second job. Thanks Target for not hiring me back :( That job would have been cake for 2 months. I wish I didn't have to go to school and could work two jobs for the next year, then I'd have some money saved up. But even then, I would still be lacking the social life I wish I could make happen. I want so badly to be able to participate, at least in Institute, FHE if my schedule allowed, but neither one of them for as long as I have been is just not great. Sure I can run down to the building on my lunch break, but staying for only 40 minutes is not the same. I just want to be okay. I know that I'm not okay. I know I have a lot of stuff to work on. I just feel like I can't take that first step because I don't know where to put my foot down, which way to go about trying to make this work. I wish I was stronger.